Author Archive: Susanne Dillmann

My 5 Tips on Managing Overwhelm

1. Monitor your feelings of overwhelm. With practice you will be able to recognize smaller and smaller amounts of an overwhelmed feeling. Practice noticing how intense your feeling of overwhelm can get. How quickly do you escalate to this maximum intensity? Notice at what level of intensity the feelings of overwhelm start to become particularly …

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My Five Tips on Being Healthy with Compassion

1. Compassion and feeling sorry for someone are not the same. Compassion includes recognizing someone’s distress, regarding the distress as valid, and having an inclination to be of assistance. Feeling sorry for someone has more to do with empathy and sympathy – it is the act of feeling the same (similar) emotion(s). Compassion has an …

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An encouraging quote

“A person of … [humanity and reverence] brings the good of others to completion.” ~ Dacher Keltner 69GRVKGZ35QS

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My five tips on how to handle a conversational bully

1. Keep yourself focused on your priority. When talking to a conversational bully (someone who behaves like a bully during conversations you have with her/him) it is easy to focus on the hurt the bulling inflicts or the anger the bulling triggers; but before becoming sucked up in these emotions asks yourself what is the …

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My 5 Tips on Distinguishing Pity from Compassion

Both compassion and pity recognize and validate someone’s (or your own) distress, pain, difficulties. These initial similarities lead many people to consider pity and compassion to be one and the same. In an effort to steer clear of pity, people inadvertently deny themselves compassion, which is both a healing and propelling emotion. 1. After recognizing …

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Attachment Part II

1. What matters most (in terms of attachment) to a young child is the perceived ability of his or her caregiver to be a source of safety. A child needs to know that his or her parent(s) is available and able to – in a good-enough manner – meet and soothe both his or her …

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Understanding Attachment Part I

1. Attachment is an innate process by which a new-born enhances his or her chances of survival by responding to any threat or insecurity by seeking out, monitoring the behaviors of and aiming to maintain closeness to his or her protective caregiver (called the attachment figure, aka Mom or Dad). 2. You can observe this …

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The 5 Factors of Personality, The “Big Five”

Just like temperament is made up of basic dimensions or building blocks, it turns out that personality is also comprised of basic dimensions. (Remember that temperament is a foundational component for personality.) There are five basic dimensions of personality and while the research clearly supports these five basic elements, there is still discussion about what …

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Understanding Temperament Part II

1. Temperament has nine dimensions to it, which are: Activity Level – The ratio of time spent being active versus inactive i.e. playing versus resting. Rhythmicity – How regular a child is with her or his bodily functions i.e. sleeping, waking, hunger and eliminating waste. Distractibility – How much the child will alter her or …

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Understanding Temperament

1. Temperament refers to a child’s basic orientation to emotion, attention, motor activity and arousal as well as the child’s basic ability to modify these orientations.   2. Temperament is an underlying part of any child’s personality and therefore influences how a child learns, reacts to danger, opportunities, challenges, new experiences, etc….   3. A …

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